Life of Depression by LAPoetry-n-Photo, literature
Literature
Life of Depression
Living with a mood disorder makes every day a struggle. A struggle to wake up in the morning, a struggle to get yourself ready for the day, a struggle to maintain relationships – a struggle to smile and mean it. I’ve never been professionally diagnosed, but I know something’s not right. I knew around the beginning of high school. Something isn’t right, isn’t balanced, inside of me. I’ve read enough books to give these thoughts and feelings a name – depression.
The commercials which say depression hurts everywhere are right. It hurts emotionally, cognitively, physically, and behaviorally. It makes me
To the world you're smiling. Someone asks "how are you?". You reply "fine, just tired". And that isn't strictly lying, you ARE tired. Tired of being alive. Tired of waking up every day regretting your existence. You're constantly crying on the inside. The tears never cease to fall even if the weary smile on the outside does occasionally fool someone.
You're being burned alive. You have chunks teared out of your soul day in, day out. There's a massive black cloud descending over the whole world. Everything becomes blurry. You want to cry, scream, run away from the insanity. You want to be held. You need some warmth to heat up the cold an
The world seems blurry and i cant clearly see.
I dont feel right, i dont feel like me.
The days have been gliding past nothings changed.
But somehow it doesnt feel right, it feels so strange.
My minds gone blank and i cant think straight.
Theres a heavy fog in me that nothing can penitrate.
A smile on my face that doesnt quite touch my eyes.
Its as if my happy world has been compromised.
Hard to breath as depression has begun to unfold.
All of my joy in life has been put on hold.
though its not as if this hasnt happened before.
With me and depression its an on going war.
There is no anger, there is no pain.
You wont see any tears
How is it possible to want someone at your side so badly
--but at the same time, drive them away from you?
How is it possible to scream as loud as you can
--when not a single whisper escapes your lips?
How is it possible to try your best to smile
--but ending up with only miserable frowns?
How is it possible to feel rejected all the time
--when many people are your biggest fans?
And most importantly
HOW is it possible to love everyone else deeply
--but hate yourself terribly that you wish you could die?
I have an answer :
Depression